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BEER FAIRY
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Name Class ↑ Rarity Useful? Notes

Beretta Cx4 Storm

Beretta Cx4 Storm
Submachine Gun ★★★★ Not to be confused with her actually useful relative

She seems to have forgotten her skirt or pants, and has a very interesting discussion with SOPMOD about the nature of dolls. She also likes collecting cigarette packs.

There is a reason I'd rather be talking about her setting details than her performance. In the story, she mentions she's actually part of a logistics unit instead of a combat unit, and you can see why.

Her stats are middle of the road, and the skill is actually fairly unremarkable. Uptime is worse than than Suomi or MP7, while also giving worse final numbers. Combine with not impressive HP, middling tiles and the fairly easy availability of better SMGs, and you can see why keeping her in your own logi teams is probably doing her a favour.

T77 Submachine Gun

T77 Submachine Gun
Submachine Gun ★★★ Hahahaha, no

3-star PP-90. An evasion tank with too little evasion to tank and meh tiles, so a core. Her main plus is she has lots of uptime. ...Which doesnt improve her lot any because its still not great, just like PP90.

JS 9

JS 9
Submachine Gun ★★★★★ Pretty good. DPS or Eva tank flex is nice

kazuki wrote this because xecty is a lazy fuck, it'll probably get rewritten

On skill activation, gain stacks of EVA or FP. The caveat for this is the amount of enemies on the field, the more enemies on the field, the less stacks of FP (base of 3) you get and in exchange, you get more stacks of EVA(max of 6). So what this means is, versus a boss she'll be a DPS SMG with her three stacks of FP, and versus swarms of enemies, she's an evade tank. So be sure to think about how you'll be deploying her.

One particular area she excels in, and probably the most useful, is during night battles. Her tiles allows for you to run her with Mk23 on 5 so you don't need to drop an AR for a HG.

FB Glauberyt PM-06

FB Glauberyt PM-06
Submachine Gun ★★★★★ Occasionally

Very handy if you need an evasive SMG at night, kinda crap at day.

Henrietta

Henrietta
Submachine Gun Special Decent SMG that is also very memeable

The meme potential of a girl with a camera and a smiling face is good enough reason to have her (now that we have multiple secretaries), but she's also not half bad as a combat unit. She gets a shield, and having the shield gives her FP buffs, while losing the shield means she's getting EVA buffs. The uptime is quite good, so she's not a bad side DPS (she has a 69% damage buff at 2 stacks and 119.7% at three stacks) that can sub-in for off-tanking and can even work as a main tank (44% eva at two stacks and 72.8% at 3). The problem is the optimal timing can be a little iffy, but she's alright for AFK fighting since it'll generally be good enough, just not fully optimized. The tradeoff between her and SR-3MP is just uptime vs power.

As expected of the main girl I guess.

Oh, and her tiles are weirdly shaped, but this is not uncommon for off-tank dolls anyway.

Heckler & Koch MP5 Mod

Heckler & Koch MP5 Mod
Submachine Gun ★★★★★ The Milk Tin's power grows

With the advent of her mod, she goes from being Thompson's kouhai to one of the strongest force shielders available. Too bad G36c mod exists now, but let's not talk about her.

Through the power of milk, when she lowers her force shield, she gains a decent evasion buff to turn her into a mixed force shield and evasion tank. While the buff requires there to be multiple enemy packs, any amount of evasion to go along with the force shield is welcomed. Oh, did I mention she also buffs rifles with her tiles now? That's a thing. The buffs she does provide aren't particularly useful for rifles, but it may come in handy.

She DOES require her unique equipment from the night map to function effectively, for the milk tin is all powerful. The mod equipment, however, is pretty garbage.

Her previous iteration can be found here

Agent Vector

Agent Vector
Submachine Gun Special Must have all her special gear or she's basically useless

She's not the worst tank, but she's expensive to raise, and she needs her ability active to really tank. Unfortunately her base ability is meh, meaning she needs all three of her special gear equipped to be actually any fucking good. With her gear, she's acceptable, with alright uptime, but her barriers are inevitably going to fail and while the evasion boost is nice, the game has other tanks that are just as good. Still, if you must use her for some reason, there are worse tanks... provided you have the gear for her, anyway.

So make sure you have her gear equipped and leveled, or don't even bother.

Pistolet-Mitrailleur de 9 mm modèle 1949 (MAT-49)

Pistolet-Mitrailleur de 9 mm modèle 1949 (MAT-49)
Submachine Gun ★★★★ She Does It For Free

4* version of JS 9 with slightly different stat spread (worse eva, basically) and awkward tiles. Can be used similarly to her, if you don't mind kiting her more to make up for the goofy positioning.

Her biggest advantage is that you will be farming 12-4E enough to get sufficient copies of her to x5 link her for free, but by the time you can reach 12-4E you should have better SMGs.

So overall… meh. Does the job, but so will others.

PM-9

PM-9
Submachine Gun ★★★★★ Not-exceptional secondary SMG

She's basically a 5-star hybrid-type SMG, except she's not exceptional at either role she can do. She's meant to be a sub-tank, where she does not really excel. She's fine for generic use, but not great for high-end stuff.

MAS-38

MAS-38
Submachine Gun ★★★ Forgotten Weapons Star

Is your name Ian McCollum? If not, you probably don't care.

She's Honeybadger, but 3 star, and the tiles are kinda upside down.

She's surprisingly alright for a 3 star, but she's not going to wow you.

Insert bad joke about 7mm French Long here.

PP-19 Mod

PP-19 Mod
Submachine Gun ★★★★★ Passable, but expensive

The main feature of this mod is her multi-shot AoE grenades. Think FAL, basically. Also some buffs. Acceptable performance, but expensive for what she is.

AR-57

AR-57
Submachine Gun ★★★★ Weird multipurpose SMG that can buff allies

She looks like a discount STAR-chan, although it's hard to describe anything that uses a stupidly expensive round like the 5.7 as a discount anything. She has a three second long cooldown and the skill lasts for two seconds. Her big thing is that she can also buff SMGs. She can be used either a mild firepower buff or an actually not awful evasion buff, the downside of which being that getting her evasion buff to work requires moving your dolls around.

RO635 Mod

RO635 Mod
Submachine Gun ★★★★★★ Cant touch this Cue Music

The first 6 star SMG, and oh boy, she deserves it. As long as the damage isn't so overwhelming that it can kill her dummies outright, she has a chance to negate the damage. The chances increase if the enemy has more debuffs or has Marks of Vengeance on them, which immediately makes her a good pair with M4. Also the Sop doll is cute and comes with weird features. This is literally Sop's fault.

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